Embracing Melancholy

Up the creek...no paddle.

My favorite 4-wheeler corner.

One of a million raindrops.

The barn where many good games were hatched.

It seems to me that the normal everyday average human is on a quest to be as discomfort free as possible.  Myself included. Over the ten days we were visiting the west wet side for Christmas, I found myself thinking that it would be much easier on  me to just never go back.  That I would be so much more comfy doing my own thing without seeing those I love (and knowing that it was painful for them knowing we were only visiting) and wandering the places that shaped me (and seeing  big changes in their landscape) 

While doing that wandering I took pictures of the most homey of my homes-Grandpa and Grandma's place. notJoy and I and our younger siblings ran that place top to bottom for many years.  We made forts and played games and had lots of hours of talking. We swam and made dams and got badly sunburned on many occasions. I love it.  It is what I think of when someone says home, even though my nuclear family lived six miles the other side of town. That home is very different now.  There have been 40 years of changes to the land and trees and four-wheeler paths. There have been many logs cut to pay for improvements and taxes. 

Coming back from being away makes me melancholy.  It makes me want to play avoidance. I would rather not think about what will happen when Grandpa and Grandma are gone and my father and his eclectic collection of siblings are trying to make decisions based on their wishes. It makes me want to stay 288 miles east and pray for them from a distance.  I wonder if that is selfish or self preservation. 

In those hours of wandering in the drizzle, I had time to think well on the reality of melancholy.  It isn't something I long to experience, but when I change the perspective, and look at my feelings, I realize that feeling the way I do is because overall the memories are good.  That the experiences I had there were because I had something so many people long for...roots.  Long standing, deep growing. And that avoiding the melancholy could make them less important and maybe even less meaningful.  


I hope the next time we spend time on the other side of the mountains, I am able to embrace the melancholy the first day of the visit, not half way through.

The Flock

Have these ^

Have these ^

And for spring...these ^

Or these^?

The major problem is that I have an 

uneven number of birds and I just can't have that! 

It just isn't RIGHT!  

AND besides, while the buff and brown together are very nice,

I believe that some black and white are necessary for balance, correct?

Nearly Artsy

Maybe we'll have to have the next Barns 'n' Bridges tour on the dry side!  Look how well these old barn details are preserved. This is our friend's old barn a few miles out of town.

These are a Few of My Favorite Things

      I am still not sure why I have so much trouble consistently blogging. I could come up with many excuses good reasons, but what it comes right down to it, it's because I just can't come up with the right words most of the time.  Good words come when computers are unavailable. Like in the shower or the car. Or standing by the river looking at a view that is so heart-achingly beautiful that it seems it just can't be real. Also, picture taking is not my forte and many of the girls that follow this silly blog are wonderful photographers so it's a little bit of embarrassment.  However, I am going to jump in and post pictures and silly words and at the very least share some of my fav's in this new place.

Poochies (what's blog without a picture of Marian?)

Compost Piles (the first ever layered-on-purpose. Though it isn't pretty or contained, it is planned.  Yes, that is a kiddie pool on top.  I use it to haul leaves and such to the pile because of the lack of wheelbarrow.)

Redneck Garden Markers (because after all, if you are going to leave soda cans and used diapers for the new renters, why not a couple sets of tires?)

Shadows of Me (when I am wearing many clothes on 14 degree mornings, looking at sunny windows full of baby rosemary)

Old West Chicken Houses (that has been used for many things, but most recently a place for misc. garbage which after many hours and bonfires and trips to the dump is now cleared. The good thing is that it is a needful reminder to me to take my things with me when I vacate.)

 

 

 

Baby Rosemary on Sunny Windowsills (because I just couldn't stand not having one to pet and love and snip)

Outdoor Fireplaces (for sitting and contemplation. In the corner, under the pile of leaves, is a grape vine I am told is delish and shared with all the patrons of the post office next door)

   

Mama's very own spots (with flocks and herds and pictures of loved ones)

 

 

 

Wood stoves (with crackling fire)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Addiction, anyone?

Well girls, you knew it would happen and you probably had a good idea that I wouldn't make it too long, but I've gone and ordered chicks.  It actually isn't my fault.  I had every intention of waiting until after the new year but then my aunt (the enabler) called and said she HAD to have some more Cuckoo Marans like the one I had given her, and didn't I think that sooner was better so they could be laying by spring??  So after a fun filled morning of looking through hatchery websites and checking availability, I decided on five Buff Orpingtons (my long time favorite) and five Speckled Sussex (a newer-to-me breed) to be delivered the 5th of December.  Which means I won't get them until Christmas!! Ugh!

In other news. I really do have pictures to post of the new place and the new town and all, but haven't put them on the computer yet.  Hopefully after Thanksgiving. Suffice it to say, we love it here and still are convinced this is exactly where God wants us to be right now. More on all that later. With pictures. Another day.

Lists for The Moving

A List-
 having my own house again
 having a yard that is mostly a clean slate
 being 15 steps from Darrin's work
 quiet, quiet, quiet po-dunk town

S List-
 leaving Mom
 leaving Madi and Tim
 leaving the rest of the fam
 leaving the notJoy and notLolly and KayLynne and Gina and the OverWoods girls
 leaving the awesome music program at ND

Trying Lists-

 trying to make lists of the things that I need to take to live in a place that is 49 miles from the nearest grocery store that sells produce

 trying to be sure I get everything ready here to make mom's transition to caregiver as easy as possible

 trying to not hurt anyone's feelings with my excitement
 

End of Summer Ramblings

Oh yes, friends, it is the end of summer.  If you can believe that.  It may be the shortest on record (so if it's the shortest on record, does that also mean the shortest in history?  Because if history is what is recorded....this is why I shouldn't drink Coke at the church picnic at 8 o'clock at night.)

So when summer started, (sometime around the 20th of July. Pfft.) I had all kinds of stuff to do and get ready for and absolutely no energy to do ANY of it.  I am blaming the weather for my general malaise, but it was probably a combo of just plain too much to do and the an inability to organize my time and lack of recognition that emotional strength must be conserved just as physical is.

Well, now the big stuff is done and I feel all miraculously better (weird isn't it?) and it's fall...my favorite time of year.  In my brain, (which works WAAAY different than most people's with letters and numbers having gender and personality and the months of the year being a big kidney bean shaped affair) late summer and fall hold a huge portion of my mental calendar.  When it's your own calender you can emphasize any portion you want, right?  Except I came this way. 

The real reason I am blogging, though, in my caffeine and sugar induced insomnia, is to post some pictures of Madi's wedding (and instead I am treating you to the Grand Tour of my true strangeness) so here you go...with commentary.

When Madi and I were wandering the woods looking for misc. forest "stuff" for her bouquet, we saw that the lighting was so pretty up here in the afternoon, we thought it would be perfect for the "just the two of them" shots.

These two just crack me up and Madi probably won't use them anywhere so I get to here.

One of the few serious faces and I like the

light and it was kind of the eye of the storm of activity that crazy day. 

My favorite.  I love everyone in one place, lookin' so good. I think it will be the Christmas card.  :)

There are about 50 that I would like to put up of the pre-wedding bridal party shots but I'll limit to one. 

 KayLynne and Joy did such an unbelievable job on the photos.  Because I love them so much and because they know the kids and love them, too, it wasn't weird or uncomfortable having them snapping away all day. I can't even begin to say thank you for all that they did.

So.  I am now a Mother-In-Law.  Everyone keeps asking how it is.  It's good. Very.  I believe in marrying young. I believe it can keep us from  many regrets...especially when God is in the middle, as he is for these two.  I hope that they get to wait a while to have kids, just so they can enjoy this time in their lives that is the only "just the two of us" time they will have.  But whenever Ben and Lucy come, I will be ready to be the gum carrying, stream wading, mud pie making Yaya.